-Elmore Leonard, from Get Shorty (via the-final-sentence)
so i cleared my throat today and
and then someone poked me in the side so I laughed
and THEN I FUCKING SNEEZED
and that’s what it’s like being on the second day of your period
i hope this has been educational
Stupid reblogs on Tumblr don’t usually make me actually laugh, but this?
I could NOT. STOP. LAUGHING.
Mom, why didn’t you use this when you taught 5th grade sex ed as a school nurse?